Reaching Up and Out in the Dark

Published on by Nancy

“Somebody help me!  I don’t want to be alone!  Those were the cries of my 3 year old grandson when he woke up one morning at 4:30 am.  

My son went into his room, comforted him and his presence was all my grandson needed to calm down and drift back to sleep.  

I  think most of us cry out for the same thing.  Maybe not in the way my grandson did at 4:30 in the morning but our deepest need in life is to love and be loved.  It’s for community and connection.  It’s about knowing that someone would be there for us at 4:30 in the morning if we needed them.

Our human condition is fragile.  We can pretend that it isn’t; that we are rocks and Islands, that we don’t need anybody and that we’re strong enough to make it through the dark nights of the soul alone. 

I think of the familiar song by Simon and Garfunkel, “I Am a Rock.”  The lyrics at the end of that song are:  “And a rock feels no pain.  And an island never cries.” 

Has there ever been a time that you’ve felt that way?  When I think back over my life, I can identify times when I did.  It’s hard to admit, but I have walled myself off from others often using the excuse that I was an introvert and liked to be alone.  Isolation didn’t serve me well. 

There came a time in my life when I finally realized I was pushing people away during difficult times and isolating. I’ve got this.  I’m strong enough to handle it.  I didn’t want to appear needy or weak.  

I have seen it in the Christian community. We can equate weakness with a lack of faith and so we parade around behind our masks and move about like good little Christians.  

But that really doesn’t help us or deepen our faith. It also doesn’t help others, because if we appear to have it all together, all the time, it’s a discouragement to those struggling. They begin to believe that Christianity isn’t going to work for them, because they are just not strong enough and I’ve seen some abandon the community of faith and worse yet…put their faith to sleep. 

In authentic environments there is freedom. Living in community is being real.  Real with God and real with others. It’s rejoicing with those who rejoice and weeping with those who weep. (Romans 12:15) 

Real with God: 

My grace is all you need, for my power is the greatest when you are weak. 2 Corinthians 12:9

My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73: 26

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

When we break down our walls, and are finally truthful with ourselves and God we are able to handle better what life throws at us.  Leaning on Him is where strength comes from.  

Then he’ll bring our people.  Those we can trust to do life with in deep and meaningful ways. 

Real with others:

We all need a core group of friends who we can share our pain and also our joys and victories with. At this time in my life, I have a group of women friends who recently lost their husbands and what a relief it is to know we truly understand each other.  They have become some of my deepest and best friends.  They are my people.  

Even Jesus didn’t bear his burdens alone.  He was in relationship with God and had a core group of friends that he did life with. If he needed those connections with his Father and others, it should open our eyes to how much we, as fallible people, need them. He’s our best example. 

Being real with others means we don’t pretend to have it all together, all the time. Of course there will be levels of what we share with different people.  We won’t and shouldn’t share everything with everybody but our people — those we can go deep with — will come into our life when we’re ready to receive that gift. I prayed for that kind of friendship and God answered. 

Just like my grandson’s father comforted him, our Father will comfort us and bring the right people into our lives to help in our time of need.  

Two verses that have become a prayer for me each night are:

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Psalm 143:8

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8

And in the morning everything is made new again.

My featured photo is the view of the sunrise from my window while I was writing this piece.

Blessings,

Nancy

23 thoughts on “Reaching Up and Out in the Dark”

  1. Oh Nancy you certainly know how to put into words what so many of us are feeling. This all just is so true and really resonates with me. I thank God for you and your friendship. Love you, my dear friend❤️

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  4. What a glorious sunrise which is the perfect accompaniment to Psalm 143:8. It’s so helpful as an introvert to hear another introvert’s struggle with being an active part of community. I’ll be honest. I’ve built those same introverted walls (they seem like such a safe haven) and they are one of the areas I have had to surrender again and again to the Lord. In letting the Lord tear them down, He has brought beautiful women into my life who share a similar story and with whom I can open up and feel safe, loved, and supported. That said, I’ll always be a private person by nature but I do try to stay sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s promptings as to what and to whom things should be shared.

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    1. Ahh…you understand the struggle. There are benefits to being an introvert. Solitude doesn’t bother us and we don’t usually feel the need to run everywhere to get our needs met. That said, we need a little push to engage with others but when we do we reap wonderful blessings. Thank you, Beth.

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  5. Isn’t it amazing the beauty God surrounds you with when writing from your heart? His love and compassion hugs and inspires to the last nerve ending, and then causes a slight shiver in your smile.

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  7. Thank you for visiting my blog to lead me to yours, Nancy! I’m so glad you have friends who are also windowed and can understand and support each other. That’s so important.

    Have a great day!

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  9. This was such a beautiful post, and I thank you for sharing it with us. God provides all that we need…we need only rest in Him when we are weary. Wishing you blessings at Christmas and always!

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  10. I wanted to reply to this the other night, but I was on my cell phone. Loved everything you said here! So helpful. You are wise and are able to articulate it so well. What a gift you have! I felt convicted and inspired by your words. Thank you for taking the time to encourage others during your grief. And, the picture of the sunrise!!! Wow! What a gift to have that picture starting at you while you write. Sunrises and sunsets are gifts from God to us. They take my breath away. 

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment, Mary. Your words have encouraged me. That sunrise was such a gift to see while I wrote that post. I was in awe of God’s goodness.

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