Tag: storm

Adjusting my Sails

Published on by Nancy22 Comments

I sat at the lake watching the waves crash against the breakwater

Surrounded by the wilderness of winter, the lake shook violently

The angry wind grabbed ahold of the water pushing it forward

Relentlessly tossing it in my direction on the shore

I was mezmerized by the force that couldn’t be controlled

Sometimes lately I feel like I’m out in the middle of that big lake

Being tossed to and fro, back and forth, buffeted by the force of a storm

I’d like to go back to an easier place, I thought

But I caught myself and steadied my thoughts. I can’t go back, not even to yesterday

I knew that deep in my soul. And then I heard a quiet voice

It was The Still Small Voice speaking to my soul

“The only way is forward. Adjust your sails.”

There’s really not many new truths to learn in this wilderness storm

Only a repositioning, a growing deeper in lessons learned through other storms

I cannot control the way the wind is blowing

The way it’s pushing the water into giant, forceful waves

I can allow the fatigue, the weariness to undo me

Let my hope turn to despair and succumb to the storm

Give it permission to drown me in oppressive thoughts

Or I can choose to adjust my sails and catch the powerful breath of God

And allow His Holy Spirit to aid in moving me forward

I will not focus on the waves, the wind, the storm

I will adjust my sails

Blessings,

Nancy

*My photo was taken on the shore of Lake Michigan

Your answer could be right around the corner

Published on by Nancy14 Comments

hills 3 x - Copy wdpI tossed and turned most of the night knowing what was ahead of us in the morning.  At 5:30am, my eyes opened.  I stared at the ceiling for a while then rolled over and closed my eyes.  My husband’s arm wrapped around me and grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.  This would be the last time we’d be this close for many months.  As tears rolled down my cheeks, I drifted off to sleep for half an hour.

Bob’s cancer is mutating. He not only has Chronic Myeloid Leukemia but, through a bone marrow biopsy, his doctors detected Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.  An extremely rare combination. The only hope for a cure is through a bone marrow transplant or what is commonly known today as a stem cell transplant. That process begins today.

We will travel 170 miles from home where he will enter the hospital for a month to receive extensive chemotherapy treatments — both orally and intravenously to try and bring both cancers into remission.  This will begin the process to move him toward the transplant.

I’m moving into an apartment near the hospital where I will be close to him.  It could be 6 months or longer before we can return home.

It’s been a whirlwind.  We just heard the news last week and we’re already being whisked away.

Bob has a wonderful medical team at one of the best hospitals in our state but our trust is in God.  He has been our guide and strength through this long and winding road.  If we had to depend on ourselves, we’d be incapable.

We heard the news on Thursday and they wanted him admitted the following Monday.  Where will I live?  How can we manage this so far from home?  Those were questions that I kept asking God.

We stopped at a café to eat lunch after we met with the medical team last Thursday.

Scrambling through the internet looking for rentals, proved futile.  We were trying to find a place, in a college town, near a University Hospital.  Bob’s doctors and staff at the hospital told us that it would be extremely hard to find an apartment there.

Concern for Bob flooded me.  I didn’t want him admitted into the hospital on Monday with this weight on his shoulders.  His concern was over me having to deal with this alone after Monday.

We had to get back to our home 170 miles away to get ready, pack and prepare for Monday.

As we left the café, we turned the corner and drove less than a block and saw a “Now leasing” sign.   We pulled in.  They had a 2 bedroom apartment available.  The people living there were moving out on Monday.  It was the only unit available.

The leasing agent showed us the place, in a quiet and quaint area, and said it was ours if we could give her a deposit that day.  We did and it’s now ours.  The extra bedroom will come in handy for family visits.

Our answer was right around the corner!  God had the place picked out for us long before we knew that we would need an apartment in that area.

He hasn’t brought us this far to leave us and we know that ultimately He is in total control.  We are leaning on Him for strength through this storm and praying for Bob’s healing.

God is good.  He’s always good even in the middle of a storm.

Blessings,

Nancy ❤

(I took the photo in this post in New Mexico a couple of years ago)