An Unexpected Gift

angel xx - Copy

This place so far from home, the one we live in close to the hospital some may call isolation but we call it holy ground.

It’s a new normal.  A place stripped of most of our possessions but here in the quiet we have found God to be more than enough.

His presence is often experienced the most in our deep nights of the soul.

We are experiencing Him in new and profound ways.

That’s a gift.

Cancer.  My husband’s cancer has caused us to go deeper with God, to experience His peace that passes all understanding more frequently.  Especially in times of fear when we feel lost and alone and cry out to Him.  It may not happen immediately but He always lets us know that He hasn’t abandoned us.

We will never be the same.  You can’t go through something like this and ever come out on the other side of it the same as you entered into it.

Often God’s mercies are wrapped in unexpected ways.

Look at Jesus.  Away in a manger no crib for a bed…

Who would have thought God would wrap His most precious gift of love, grace and mercy in swaddling cloths?

Who would have thought God Himself would come to earth in such a lowly, humble way?

Truth is His most precious gifts often come wrapped that way.  In ways that we would never expect.  His gifts are perfect and right on time.

We prayed for 4 months that a bone marrow donor would be found for my husband.

Many have prayed.  Perhaps you prayed too.

The news came that a donor could not be found through the registry.

More chemo.  More waiting.  More praying. More hoping.

Then the miracle came.

Our oldest son, Scott, tested as over half a match.

Not perfect but good enough.

It’s good enough for a haploidentical bone marrow transplant.

These types of transplants have been done successfully at the University Research Hospital where the transplant will be done.  All transplants come with benefits and risks.  It’s not easy by any means but we trust God with the outcome.

On January 6 my husband will enter the hospital.  His immune system will be suppressed through more chemotherapy and radiation.

On Januray 13, Scott’s bone marrow will be harvested and given to Bob through an IV.

My husband, Bob, will receive the gift of life through the son that he gave life to.  The son we gave birth to is giving his father a second chance at life.

Who would have thought that the answer; the gift would come through our son?

We celebrate the most precious gift ever given in Jesus this month, the one who has given us life eternal.

And we receive with grateful hearts His precious gift of mercy wrapped in the most unexpected way through our son, Scott and we thank our son for his most special offering.  Certainly it’s the best gift that he’s ever given his dad for Christmas.

We are going to have a Merry Christmas knowing that our God knows what He is doing and although a perfect donor match could not be found He is going to give Bob a perfect transplant.

Merry Christmas!

Nancy ❤

( The photo was taken of an angel adorning our beautiful European Cyprus Tree.  Both the tree and ornaments were sent to us by some dear friends)

Celebrate!

Instagram sparkler  wdp - Copy

Red, white and blue.  I’ve seen it everywhere this past week.

If you live in the USA, you have too.

There are flags waving, crepe paper adorning, patriotic symbols flashing, celebration of the 4th. of July, our independence day, the birthday of America ring out across our land.

And the celebration continues into Sunday, July 5.

I celebrate my freedom to worship today, to serve the God I love, to live in a country where I can proclaim my faith without fear of persecution.  I celebrate that I can worship openly, not in hiding, like so many fellow believers do in other parts of the world.

Despite my freedom, at times I feel like a fish out of water or a fish in the water swimming upstream, going against the flow.

When I get weary and tired, God’s strength and power gives me the Spiritual muscles to keep swimming even when the current pushes against me.

And He gives me the power to live here, now, at such a time as this but to always remember who I am, where I came from and where I’m headed.

He gives me the power to LOVE. And I hope I will LOVE coming from a humble position.

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable:

Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself:  ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men–robbers, evildoers. adulterers–or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

But the tax collector stood at a distance.  He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his chest and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God.  For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”   Luke 18: 9-14

My prayer is that I will LOVE coming from the humble place of one needing mercy–ah, grace, mercy–I am nothing without it and everything with it.

I’m aware that as a Christ follower I am called to be different, live differently than our culture — to live counter culturally — but I am also called to love differently than is humanly possible in a world that is not my home.  That is hard and impossible without the power of Christ in me.

I don’t want to forget that this is not my home.  I don’t want to forget that I live in a world where I don’t really belong.  I don’t want to ever forget that I am a citizen of Heaven and that I am just passing through.

I am a sojourner.

If you are a follower of Jesus, you are a sojourner too.

We are not citizens of our world trying to work our way to Heaven.  We are citizens of Heaven allowing Him to complete His work through us.

As I look around at all the red, white and blue.  When I celebrate, join in on the festivities, parades, fireworks, I’m reminded that this celebration can’t compare to the one going on in Heaven when we open our hearts and lives to Jesus–the one who loved us enough to come down into this world to save us.

He’s the one who throws open wide the doors to the Kingdom of Heaven and welcomes us into a new and forever citizenship — a land with similar colors to remember and celebrate.

Jesus bore the red – through His blood, the blue through His bruises and we wear the white.

When God looks at us clothed in Jesus, He sees us as though we have never sinned.  White as snow.  Pure and perfect without blemish or stain.

As I celebrate my freedom here, I’m thankful for my liberty, the freedom to worship, the freedom to express myself.  I celebrate all that and more.

I celebrate the beauty, the glimpses of His glory that surround me daily and I’m truly thankful for all the good and perfect gifts that He’s given to me for my enjoyment.

But I also remember not to get too comfortable and to remember that I will be called to live counter-culturally at times, maybe even be ridiculed for that, possibly be misunderstood,  but I will remain joyful remembering that this is not my home, I’m just passing through.  The best is yet to come.

Blessings,

Nancy

Right on Time

spring blooms

When the azalea’s blossomed, when nature came alive, when surrounded by spring, something else sprung up–Bob’s allergies. That was the beginning of this new journey–when our path changed direction.

Bob’s allergies with his watery eyes and runny nose led to head congestion, chest congestion, cough and a fever.

After days of Claritin, Ibuprofen, and cough syrup, without much relief, he knew it was time to see the doctor.  It was a Friday afternoon.  He didn’t want to wait over the weekend so he decided to drive to the doctor’s office.

“Aren’t you going to call before you go”?  I asked.  “No, I’m just going to show up”, came his response.  Then off he went.  It was mid-day.  I had my doubts whether the doctor would be able to see him without a scheduled appointment.

Upon his arrival, the receptionist informed him that they didn’t schedule any appointments that day, because the staff attended a conference.  They had just returned and were getting ready to lock up for the weekend.  The doctor was still there and was able to see him.  Bob couldn’t have asked for better timing.

The diagnosis — a secondary infection due to his allergies.  His physician prescribed antibiotics and an inhaler.  Then, out of the blue, the doctor ordered some routine blood work.  Bob wasn’t due to have blood work done for 7 months when he’d be back for his annual physical, but he followed the doctor’s orders.

The results came back indicating that Bob had an elevated white blood cell count.  “You had a respiratory infection when they did the test.  More than likely it’s from that”, I remarked.  The doctor also thought it could be from the infection but decided to check further.

After Bob fully recovered from his respiratory illness, he went to the lab for another blood test.  The result–an elevated white blood cell count.  Another blood test a week later confirmed the results.

At that point, the doctor became concerned and his concern led to our concern especially when he said, “I don’t want to worry you but this could be the beginning stages of something serious.  I’m referring you to a Hematologist”.

Several more blood tests were done.  Then came the appointment day with the Hematologist.  Then came the words, “You have Leukemia”

Leukemia?  Did the doctor just tell us that my husband has Leukemia?  I sat there trying to process the word.  L e u k e m i a.

The real world seemed distant.  What we heard and where we were sitting seemed surreal; almost dream like.  Reality set in with every question that we asked and with every answer from the doctor.  The Hematologist informed us that there were several different types of Leukemia–the acute Leukemia’s that are extremely aggressive and the chronic types, which grow slower.

Since Bob felt good and his white blood cell count stayed at the same level for several weeks, the doctor told us that there was a good chance that he had a chronic type.  Those words became our glimmer of hope.

We came home to process the news and to get ready for his bone marrow biopsy.  The bone marrow biopsy was necessary to confirm what type of Leukemia it was and to stage it.  They scheduled the biopsy for the following week and another trip to the lab to prepare for it.

Then a phone call from the Hematologist, “We can’t do the biopsy.  You’re testing positive for an autoimmune syndrome that affects blood clotting and we need to do some investigating before proceeding with the biopsy”.   More in-depth blood tests had to be done and sent out to several labs.  That meant more waiting.

While we waited, we did some research, prayed, and asked others to pray.

The results were back in a week and showed that the Leukemia was Chronic Myeloid Leukemia or CML, a type that will need treatment-more than likely an oral medication and strict monitoring of his blood.  A bone marrow biopsy would still be necessary to confirm the findings.

After his doctor conferred with other specialists, they determined that the autoimmune syndrome may or may not be caused by the Leukemia.  They couldn’t be certain.  There wasn’t a test that could be done to give us a concrete answer but his doctor assured us that it would be safe to go ahead with the biopsy.

Bob had the biopsy last week and now we’re in another waiting period.  We will receive the results in a few days.

card flwrs

We are grateful and comforted by the outpouring of love and support from family and friends.  Each note, text, email, call and card confirms that many are thinking of us and praying.

During the weeks leading up to Bob’s diagnosis (even before we knew that he would be seeing a Hematologist) I was drawn to Lamentations 3: 21-24 in the Bible and focused on that passage for weeks.  I shared this scripture in earlier posts including, New Every Morning.

4xxh

A few days after we learned that Bob had Leukemia, I went to that familiar passage once again.  I sat there for some time reading the words and meditating on them.  Then I got up and went to my computer to check my email.  There was a message addressed to both myself and Bob from our pastor, David Wesin. Here’s some of what he wrote:

“The temptation in a circumstance like you’re experiencing is to let your mind race ahead to what the next thing might be.  In addition, we often fear that we will not be able to handle what comes next.  We are told that God gives us the grace we will need when we need it – not before.  My prayer for both of you will be that you focus on today and leave tomorrow in God’s hands.”

Then he shared the following scripture passage:

But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

It was my go to verse.  The one I was reading, re-reading and sharing with Bob over several weeks.  It was the verse that I had just read before reading his email.

Some may call this a coincidence.  I call it God’s mercy.  His mercies never come to an end – they are new every morning; great is his faithfulness.  Bob and I will hope and trust in God who continues to confirm that his mercies will always come right on time. 

Written by: Nancy Janiga ©2014

New Every Morning

sun - Copy

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”  (Lamentations 3:22-24)  I’ve read and focused on this comforting verse recently and even shared it in my last post.

Another version of the same verse states:  The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

God’s love never ceases, his mercies never end, they are new every morning, because he is faithful.

His mercies come in different ways — like gifts to unwrap.

Sometimes the gift I want isn’t the package that I receive.

A phone call with unsettling news came yesterday.

It was an ordinary day.  A day when my Iris’ were in full bloom and my peony buds were getting ready to open. All things were good.

iris-fixed - Copy

peony-bud - CopyThen the phone call.  In the late afternoon as the call came in, storm clouds rolled over my house and the world around me and inside of me changed.  No longer did it seem good.  If God’s mercy is new every morning, I’d like the mercy to come packaged in a change in circumstances.  For now, that isn’t the gift that I’m receiving.

storm-clouds - Copy

 One friend said, “You’ve got this.”  My thought was, I know she loves me, means well and I appreciate her confidence in me, but there is no way that I have this under controlOr in my control

Then the words from my sister, “God’s got this.”  Yep, now those are words I can count on and believe in.  Sometimes I unpack mercy through the words of encouragement that are spoken to me through others.

There are times when God’s mercy shows up in a visit or a phone call from a friend who just happened to have me on their mind.

It can come through the words of a card, a blog, a book, a sermon and especially the Bible–comforting words that warm my heart and carry me through the day.

Other times it’s unwrapped in quiet reflection as I remember how mercy was given to me in the past and it will come again.

One day at a time his mercy comes.  It’s new and different everyday but from the same God.  A God who never changes and promises me that his mercy will be new every morning.

Today it came in the symbol of peace.  A dove.  A dove on the bird bath in my yard at dawn.

morning dove 3 - Copy

A dove brought an olive branch to Noah to signal new life.  A dove, a symbol of the Holy Spirit, descended on Jesus as he was baptized by John the Baptist.

The dove; a symbol of peace and a symbol of the Holy Spirit sat before me on my bird bath.  It reminded me that I cannot manufacture peace.  It comes, like a dove, descending on me and through me by the Holy Spirit as I trust in God.  In the remembering, I received the gift.

The Holy Spirit will see me through all things and I will be presented with gifts of mercy daily and I will untie the ribbons and accept the gift with a thankful heart.

This morning the gift I unwrapped was PEACE.  All things are good again–within me.

Written by: Nancy Janiga ©2014